


Belonging to Tomorrow

by elem (elem44)



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-14
Updated: 2017-07-14
Packaged: 2018-12-02 05:58:49
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,748
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11503194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elem44/pseuds/elem
Summary: A Deadlock episode addition. A surprise Secret Steamy Summer Story for Shayenne.





	Belonging to Tomorrow

The two Captain Janeways stood face to face on the upper level of engineering with the light of the warp core casting an eerie glow over their identical profiles. One Kathryn was dishevelled and bleeding, the other was fastidious, not a hair out of place. Chakotay looked at them from his place at the jury rigged tactical station. Two Kathryn Janeways. It was something to behold. They were locked in a heated discussion. Both were standing rigidly, with their shoulders back, feet slightly apart and their chins jutting forward. It was a very recognisable offensive stance, and if their situation hadn’t been so dire he could almost have laughed at the incongruity of the vision before him. But as things stood they were again teetering on the brink of annihilation. There were countless injured, Harry Kim had been killed and Samantha Wildman’s baby had died. The ship itself was barely holding together. Their situation was grim to say the least.

He watched his Kathryn closely, and tried to read her gestures, then sighed to himself. His Kathryn? She wasn’t his… as much as he wanted her to be. No matter from which reality she hailed, Kathryn Janeway would only ever belong to herself. But in his mind he thought of her as his. His heart certainly belonged to her.

His eyes softened as he watched them do battle, and another idle thought teased at the corners of his consciousness. What was the other Chakotay doing while his Kathryn was here? Manning the bridge and worrying, no doubt. It would be what he’d be doing if he was in his shoes. Studying them closely, he shook his head in awe of these two brilliant women who were so deeply engrossed in striving to find an answer to this dilemma. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from them.

Their discussion had now calmed and their rigid stances had relaxed. There was a sense of resignation in his Kathryn’s bearing. The other Kathryn remained steely and resolute. He could guess his Kathryn’s thoughts though. There were very few options open to them at this juncture and he knew what he would do if he was in the same position.

They were now whispering to one another, and there was a worrying intensity to their conversation. Whatever they were discussing must be of deep concern. Both of them looked very grim faced and serious.

All of a sudden they both turned and looked at him. He felt totally exposed as their twin gazes drilled into him. Their looks were so intense and he could feel the colour rising up his neck to his cheeks. They were talking about him. It’s strange how humans have that uncanny ability to know when they’re being watched or talked about. The hairs pricked up on the back of his neck and he frowned. Noticing his look, his Kathryn pulled her gaze away abruptly. The other Kathryn laid her hand gently on her arm but held Chakotay’s stare. She then blinked slowly and sadly, and turned back to her compatriot, speaking to her quietly. His Kathryn gave a determined nod, and turning, gripped the rail as the other Kathryn left Engineering.

Nodding to Ayala to take over from him at the console, Chakotay climbed the ladder to the upper level. Kathryn’s shoulders were slumped and he could tell from her stance what had been decided. The cold hand of dread clutched at his heart…..

She was going to self destruct the ship.

It was the only feasible course of action, but it was a tough call. A very tough call, and one that only she could make. He would support her decision, however, and assure her that it was the correct and only one she could make given the circumstances. He’d stand by her as he’d promised himself. It was during these difficult times that he’d sworn that she would never be alone, and that he would share her burdens. It was the least he could do. She’d saved them. He and the Maquis. Not just from the Kazon, but from themselves and their bitter past. She had given them an opportunity to redeem themselves and to move beyond the anger and hate. She had given them back their self worth and for that he would be eternally grateful.

He moved to her side, his shoulder just touching hers. She didn’t turn her head or acknowledge his presence, but he felt her lean against him ever so slightly. What he wouldn’t give to be able to sweep her into his arms and hold her until all the hurt was gone, but that wish was destined to be unrealised, so he leant into her a little more to let her know that he understood, that he cared, and he was there for her.

“You know what I’m planning to do?” She still didn’t look at him.

“Yes.” He followed her gaze as she watched the crew below, racing from console to console trying to avert this latest disaster.

Her voice was low and husky. “It’s the only option. She’ll get her crew home.”

“I know she will. She’s you.” He leant into her a little more. “It’s the only way. Do you want me to tell the crew?”

She shook her head. “No. It’s the captain’s duty. I’ll do it.” She turned to him. “We have fifteen minutes. They’re going to try and find another solution, but I don’t hold out much hope. Our antimatter is almost gone, the ship is in ruins and we have so many injured. And to be honest, I’ve run out of ideas.”

He placed his hand over hers on the railing. “It’s the right decision, Captain.” He looked towards the ladder that led to the lower level. “Shall we join our crew?”

Kathryn shook her head. “Not just yet.” She turned towards him. “Chakotay?” Taking his arm she pulled him over to the bulkhead and out of sight of prying eyes. “The other captain asked me to do something.” Chakotay frowned in question. “She wanted me to tell you something and this will be the only chance I’ll get.”

Still holding his arm, her hand slid down his forearm and gripped his hand. Looking up into his eyes, she smiled slightly. “I love you and I’ve done so from almost the moment you came on board. This is probably not the best time to tell you but, well, we thought you should know.”

Chakotay was momentarily at a loss for words, but then his heart swelled and his face broke into a beaming smile. “I love you too, Kathryn.”

She smiled in return. “I know.” Chuckling at his surprise, she touched his cheek. “You’re not terribly good at hiding it. I’m pretty sure everyone knows how you feel. But thank you. It has meant a great deal to me to know that you cared. I haven’t felt so alone, just knowing that your love was there.” She rested her hand over his heart briefly.

She was still holding his hand and stroked her thumb over the back of his knuckles, and lifting her head, she gave him a grim smile. “Well, I suppose we’d best go. Time is running short and we should be hearing from the other Captain Janeway soon.” She turned and made a move towards the ladder, but he tugged at her hand.

“Just a moment…..Kathryn?” She smiled and nodded. It was the first time he’d called her by her first name.

Chakotay looked around to ensure they were alone. “May I kiss you? I will die a happy man regardless, but I would li……mmmph”

She’d stood on her tip toes and captured his mouth in a warm kiss, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. It was one surprise after another with this woman. Chakotay hauled her body close to his and kissed her deeply. Her lips opened under his and he explored the soft warmth of her mouth. Their tongues met and their breath mingled as their bodies melted into one. This was a kiss that would have to last them an eternity. All their love and longing was poured into this embrace. She slowly pulled her mouth away from his and rested her forehead on his chin. Her breath hitched as she realised that this great love was to remain unfulfilled. A tragedy all its own, but she was so grateful to the other Janeway for insisting that they tell each other of their feelings. She breathed a deep sigh of resignation and regret. If only…

Taking a few deep breaths to steady himself he kissed her head gently and moved her away from him. “Time to go.”

She gave him a half smile and nodded.

He touched his fingertips lightly to her lips, then closed his hand and held his clenched fist to his heart. He nodded sadly and took a deep breath. Tears shimmered in both their eyes. There were no words.

They moved to the top of the ladder together and she put her foot on the top rung and looked up at him. “Thank you for everything, Chakotay. I couldn’t have come this far without you.”

“We’ll meet on the other side. I love you, Kathryn.”

Her eyes glistened and she reached out and squeezed his hand. Their gazes held for a moment. All their love and devotion exchanged in a few brief seconds, and then she took a deep breath, nodded and descended the ladder. He followed and took his place at the ops station next to Tom Paris; at peace with himself and ready to meet his spirit ancestors. Kathryn took her place at the engineering console with B’Elanna, and was preparing to inform the crew of her plan to self destruct the ship when the perimeter alert sounded and a Vidian ship showed up on sensors.

All hell broke loose.

In the next few frantic minutes their lives took a dramatic turn. The Vidians, unable to detect their ship, boarded the other Voyager and that Captain Janeway was forced to set the self destruct. In those last frenzied seconds the other Voyager’s Ensign Kim, with Samantha Wildman’s baby, came through the spatial rift to safety. The explosion of the other Voyager destroyed the Vidian ship, the cataclysm claiming all hands on both ships. All those on the remaining Voyager stood in shocked silence for several moments as the reality of what had happened sunk in.

From being only moments from death their futures were again laid out before them. The irony of the situation was so absurd that it almost made Chakotay laugh. They would live but would he and Kathryn have a future? He looked at his captain and the woman he loved. Her face was set in a determined mask. They were not out of the woods yet. With the destruction of the other Voyager the haemorrhaging of their antimatter had abated, but they still could only travel at low impulse and would have to find somewhere to set the ship down to repair the nacelles. Nearly half the ship was uninhabitable, much of it in ruin, and almost a third of the crew were still in sickbay. There was also the very real threat of another confrontation with the Vidians. He could see Kathryn’s mind working – prioritising and mentally making lists and plans to ensure their survival. My God, he loved this woman.

Turning back to his console he set the sensors on long range, and scanned the region around Voyager. “Captain, there are no other Vidian ships on sensors. There’s a Class Nine nebula 200 million kilometres off starboard, just outside the boundary of Vidian space. We could take cover there and deal with the most pressing of our repairs.”

Slowly she turned towards him. She was devastated, but her eyes held an intensity that made him catch his breath. She nodded, holding his gaze for several heartbeats, then dragged her eyes away from him, and snapped into command mode. “Mr Paris, get us to that nebula at best speed.” She turned to B’Elanna. “Lieutenant, I need a list of repairs, and available engineering crew. Shields and weapons are a top priority. Tuvok, a deck by deck damage report as soon as possible, please. Perhaps a list of what isn’t damaged would be shorter than a list of what is. Chakotay, I want you to oversee the repair crews and co-ordinate teams outside of engineering. And I’d like a list of injured as soon as the Doctor can get it to me. Tom, once we’re safely within the nebula, find Harry and assess the damage on the bridge. We need to get back up there.” She swept her hair out of her eyes. “Alright everyone, there’s a lot of work to do. Let’s get to it.” She marched out of engineering without another word.

Chakotay marvelled at their crew. They rallied, and before long repairs were well under way. Corridors were cleared of rubble, conduits were sealed, bulkheads replaced, and under B’Elanna’s efficient hand, work was well under way with the propulsion systems. She was based in Engineering and was barking orders left and right as her harried crew moved with practised efficiency from one damaged system to the next.

Chakotay was overseeing the ship-wide repairs and co-ordinating reports, Tuvok was delegating assignments to those crew newly released from sickbay and maintaining a tactical alert. Harry and Tom were busy repairing the main systems on the bridge, and according to B’Elanna’s estimates, it would be ready within three days. None too soon. They were all stumbling over one another in Engineering and B’Elanna’s temper was never reliable at the best of times.

Kathryn busied herself with repairs as well and he was quietly keeping tabs on her whereabouts. She was everywhere. One moment she would be repairing conduits on deck six or replacing power relays on deck eleven, the next she would be crawling through the bowels of the ship alongside her crew checking the gel packs and fine tuning systems. They hadn’t spoken privately since those few moments on the Engineering upper deck and, to be honest, Chakotay wasn’t all that hopeful of a happy resolution, but maybe it was enough just to know that they loved one another and anything else could wait. He thought he could live with that. But could Kathryn?

She’d exposed herself in those few moments and he sensed that she saw that exposure as a weakness. It would be his job to convince her that it could be a strength and one that would allow them to consolidate their command and affirm their leadership.

He was well aware that captaining a starship was a solitary endeavour, but here in the Delta Quadrant, 70,000 light years from home, there were no Admirals or Commodores to whom she could turn for advice and support. Here they were on their own, and if she was to survive in the long term, she needed someone off whom she could bounce her ideas, and who could be that support and foil. He was more than willing to fill that role. But it would be her call. Her comfort and peace of mind were paramount.

It took two weeks to get the ship in any fit state to venture out of the protective shroud of the nebula. He and Kathryn had barely crossed paths in that time. They had all been working at a frantic pace. Meals had been taken on the run and sleep was snatched when and where it could. He had, however, noticed Kathryn’s growing frustration as more and more minor problems were uncovered, hampering their efforts and prolonging repair time. The proton bursts from the other Voyager had literally shaken them apart. There were hundreds of micro fractures that required repair and every bolt and connection had to be checked. They still had to find a suitable planet to land Voyager on and repair the nacelles. B’Elanna was adamant that to do a thorough job, they had to be on solid ground, either that or find an accommodating space dock and a fleet of willing engineers. Being that the likelihood of that was remote, at this morning’s briefing it was decided that they would move out of the nebula and begin long range scans for an M class planet that boasted the necessary minerals and materials that they would need for the repairs.

They battened down as best they could, and B’Elanna was confidant that they could cruise at warp two without doing further damage to the nacelles, but anything over that would stress the already damaged struts. They were ready to leave at 06:00 the following day.

Neelix had decided that because they were to leave the next morning, a celebration was in order. Chakotay could see the merit in the idea. It would act as a kind of safety valve of sorts, to let the crew blow off a bit of steam after the stress and hard work of the last couple of weeks. All off-duty personnel were invited to a get-together in the mess hall with the captain and commander top of the guest list. It was the last thing that Chakotay felt like doing and he imagined that Kathryn felt much the same, but for the crew’s sake, he would make an appearance.

He’d run into Kathryn as she was leaving the bridge to check on Engineering and asked her quietly if he should come by her quarters so they could go to the party together. He tried very hard to sound casual, but Kathryn had just looked at him with a worried frown and said she would meet him there, her excuse being that she had things to do and wasn’t sure how long it would take. She’d walked away still frowning but then turned and thanked him for asking her. Their eyes had met briefly, and then she’d turned abruptly and marched off down the corridor.

He was puzzled by her reaction, but not surprised. It seemed he’d been correct in his assumption. She felt exposed and vulnerable and now she was trying to place some distance between them… trying to find some level of equanimity in their changed circumstances. He would give her space and time, and try to show her that their love for one another didn’t have to impact negatively on their command.

The party was in full swing when he arrived. He made his way to the bar and picked up a drink, saying hello to the crew as he wended his way through the crowd. He found B’Elanna hovering at the back of the room.

“Hi, Chakotay.”

“B’Elanna. Enjoying your time off? I hear there’s a planet on sensors that looks like it might be a suitable stopover for the nacelle repairs.”

“Yes. Harry told me. I’d better enjoy this down time while I can. There’ll be a lot to do once we’re on the ground.” She looked sideways at Chakotay.

He noticed her look. “What is it, B’Elanna?”

“Well…… do you think you could keep the Captain busy while we’re doing the repairs?

He smiled. “Too many Chiefs?”

B’Elanna rolled her eyes. “Yes, well that’s one way of putting it. Look, I don’t mind working with her, but she rattles some of the junior officers and poor Crewman Boylen has such a crush that he can barely hold a spanner when she’s around.” Chakotay raised an eyebrow at that and an irrational jolt of jealous anger shot through him. B’Elanna noticed the look on his face and gave him an astonished look. “He’s no threat.” She turned and seemed to mull over the idea for a moment. “And well, you fit better than Boylen.”

Chakotay gave her a deadpan look and she laughed. “Congratulations, Old Man. I hope it all works out. So I guess the rumours are true after all. Paris is going to make a killing in replicator rations.”

“B’Elanna, don’t you dare breathe a word of this to anyone. It changes nothing. She’s still the captain and I’m still her first officer and there’s nothing we can do about this until we get home. So I’m ordering you not to say anything. Do you understand?”

“Hey, lighten up, Chakotay. Of course I won’t say anything, but I hate to tell you, it’s not much of a secret. Well… the way you feel about her isn’t, that’s for sure. You walk around with this silly grin when she’s in a good mood. Your face lights up and your body goes to red alert when she walks into a room. You’re a dead give away.”

Chakotay’s shoulders slumped. “That’s what she said. I’m that obvious, huh?”

B’Elanna gave him a smiling nod. “You’re pathetic. But hey, that’s ok. I think she feels pretty much the same. She certainly can’t keep her hands off you. You know they keep book on how many times she touches you each shift?”

He turned to her astounded. What was he going to do? Kathryn would have a conniption if she found out and what was even worse was the fact that she might stop doing it if she knew. He scowled at B’Elanna and she waved her hands. “Don’t worry, I won’t mention that either.”

A familiar voice took them by surprise. “Good evening, Lieutenant, Commander.”

B’Elanna choked. “G…good evening, Captain.”

“Captain.” Chakotay felt the heat rise up his neck.

She looked at him with a frown and then turned her attention to B’Elanna. “Lieutenant, it looks like we’ll be in orbit around the mineral planet at about 11:00 tomorrow. I’d like you to get a survey team together. You’ll beam down first thing and analyse the various deposits. Once I’ve received your report, we’ll make plans to land Voyager.”

“Yes, Captain. I’ll send you a list of team personnel first thing in the morning.”

“Very good, Lieutenant. It looks like there are some quite significant deposits of Duranium and Gallicite. There are also some smaller deposits of polysilicate verterium and monocrystal cortenum so we should be able to rebuild the damaged warp coils without too many problems.”

“That’s good news, Captain.”

An uncomfortable silence followed. B’Elanna saw Harry enter the mess hall. “If you’ll excuse me, Captain, I see Harry. There was something I wanted to ask him about the Gallicite deposits.” She turned to Chakotay and gave him a pointed look. “Commander.”

Both Kathryn and Chakotay chorused. “Goodnight, Lieutenant.” And they watched as she disappeared into the crowd. The silence stretched on painfully.

Chakotay took a deep breath. “Can I get you a drink, Captain?”

She smiled at him and nodded. “Yes, thank you, Commander. A glass of wine would be nice.” This was all so excruciating.

He nodded to her and moved over to the counter. Kathryn watched him go. She didn’t know what to do. They’d opened the proverbial can of worms by revealing their feelings to one another and she really didn’t know what they should do about it. She knew what she’d like to do, but it was entirely out of the question. What she did know, was that they needed to talk, but finding an appropriate time to broach the subject was difficult. She watched him as he talked to Neelix and some of the crew who were standing nearby. They were all laughing about something and she could hear his low rumbling chuckle from where she stood. He was such a kind and good man and a damn handsome one too. She smiled gently as she thought of him and his kiss. It had touched her deeply, and stirred her in a most profound way. He turned back towards her and caught her look of unguarded affection. She blinked quickly and blanked her look, but it was too late. He smiled at her kindly and moved back to her side.

“Here we are, Captain. Jenny Delaney assures me that it is drinkable.”

She took the glass, giving him a crooked smile. “Thank you, Commander.”

The uncomfortable silence descended again.

This time Kathryn felt the need to say something. “If B’Elanna’s survey reveals no anomalies or dangers, this planet might be the perfect place for some shore leave. According to her estimates, it will take at least a week, perhaps two, to repair the warp coils and damaged nacelles. It might be a good idea to organise some shift rotations for leave.”

Chakotay nodded as he listened. “I’ll get on it in the morning, Captain.” He turned towards her slightly. “Will you be taking some time off?”

She turned towards him as well. “If time permits, yes. I think it would be a good idea. You can put me down for a day or two towards the end of our stay, if you like.”

“Consider it done.”

She gave him a brief smile and then they turned back towards the crowd , covering their discomfort by nodding and greeting any crew who came near them. It was very awkward and Kathryn finally could stand it no longer. “Commander, I’m going to head back to my quarters. I’ll see you on the bridge tomorrow. Enjoy your evening.”

He nodded to her, very tempted to offer to escort her, but he knew that he’d be refused. “Sleep well, Captain.”

She gave him a sad smile, and placing her barely touched wine on a nearby table, left the mess hall. Chakotay heaved a sigh and followed several minutes later. They had a big day ahead, so an early night was in order. That was his excuse anyway.

Their trip from the nebula to the mineral planet proceeded without incident and the Captain called a senior staff meeting at 16:00 to review the away team’s survey results. There was a large landmass just north of the planet’s equator that held most of the necessary minerals and any other deposits were within easy shuttle distance. There was a limited amount of harmless wildlife and scans revealed no obvious dangers. The planet itself was M class and the area where they planned to land the ship was lush and very hospitable. The perfect location for shore leave. There were picturesque mountains, verdant valleys and even an accessible coastline with long stretches of sandy beach. Plans were made to land the ship at 08:00 the following morning. Chakotay posted the shore leave rosters and there was much excitement amongst the crew as they chose their preferred destinations. Those who weren’t needed for mineral gathering or nacelle reconstruction were on the initial rotation and the Engineering and Geology staff were rostered for leave later in their stay. Chakotay had set aside two days at the very end of the ten days that they had allocated for repairs, for the Captain to take some time away.

He’d made sure that one of his days off coincided with hers in the hope that they could spend at least a few hours together. She was still very distant and withdrawn and he feared for their friendship.

That evening preparations were made for mining and drilling operations. Ore extraction equipment was assembled and made ready, a crude refinery had been constructed and shuttles were prepared for gathering the more distant minerals. By 22:00 all was in readiness for the days ahead.

All went to schedule. There was a collective sigh of relief as Voyager touched down on the planet and then the hard work of extracting and manufacturing the minerals began. Chakotay was true to his word and kept the Captain clear of Engineering. She was more than happy to assist in the drilling and mining operations. It gave her a valid excuse to be away from the ship and to take advantage of being planet side and outdoors. It also took the pressure off poor Crewman Boylen. Now that Chakotay knew of the young man’s predicament, he noticed how tongue tied and uncomfortable he was around the captain. He sympathised. He was a little that way himself these days.

By day three they had half filled cargo bay two with Duranium ore and the nacelle repairs were almost complete. Next came the more complex and intricate manufacture of verterium cortinide for the warp coils. It was a complicated and convoluted process that kept B’Elanna and the captain occupied for the next week. In the end they’d managed to fill several cargo containers with the rare substance. Kathryn was very pleased. They would have enough to last years. All in all the whole mineral gathering exercise had been an outstanding success.

It was day ten of their stay on the planet and Kathryn was assisting B’Elanna with the reinstallation of the warp coils. Once this was completed she was prepared to leave the ship for her two days of leave. She was looking forward to taking some time to explore the mountains fifty or so kilometres to the south. Tom and Harry had spent a day hiking through the ranges and had highly recommended it. There were rivers, waterfalls and some natural hot springs that sounded like just what she needed. She hadn’t seen much of Chakotay over the last week or so. He’d been busy dealing with the internal machinations of the ship and crew. She realised now that she’d missed him. He had a day off tomorrow and she was thinking very seriously of inviting him to join her on her trek up the mountain. She knew that they should talk about what had happened in Engineering the day the duplicate Voyager had been destroyed, but she’d been avoiding the whole issue, and it was well past time that it was dealt with. She still had trouble believing what had happened that day, and it had taken her weeks to come to terms with the loss of the other Voyager. She still wasn’t sure what to do about the other thing. Silently, she chided herself. ‘Go on, say it, Kathryn. About….. telling Chakotay that you loved him’. Her insides flip flopped at the mere thought. Their kiss had fuelled her fantasies for the past month and she’d tried to convince herself that it was of no consequence, but it was useless. The less she saw of him the more she thought of him.

“Captain?” B’Elanna was trying to get her captain’s attention. Her mind was obviously somewhere pleasant if the smile on her face was any indication. “Captain?”

“Huh! Yes, Lieutenant. I’m sorry. My mind was wandering.”

B’Elanna smiled. “That’s fine, Captain. I just heard from Chakotay. He’s heading down here with the last of the warp coils. After that’s installed I’ll just need to do a little tweaking and we should be finished.”

“That’s good news, B’Elanna. Have you got someone organised to clean the injectors? That’s the final bit of housekeeping that needs to be done.”

“Yes. Crewman Boylen is on his way down with Chakotay.”

Kathryn nodded. “Well done, B’Elanna. You’ve done an exemplary job getting this all done.”

“Thank you, Captain.”

Just then Chakotay and Crewman Boylen came through the hatch from the Jeffries tube. Chakotay handed B’Elanna the warp coil assembly. “B’Elanna, this is the last one.” He turned to Kathryn. “Hello, Captain.”

Crewman Boylen stood to one side, blushing. Kathryn nodded to Chakotay and turned to Boylen. “Crewman Boylen.”

The young man stuttered a greeting and slunk back into the corner. Kathryn frowned slightly and then shrugged and took the warp coil assembly from B’Elanna. “I’ll help you with this last one, B’Elanna.”

Chakotay stepped forward. “Captain, I can help B’Elanna with this if you’d like to start your leave.”

She gave him a brief smile. “Thank you, Commander, but it’s not a problem. It won’t take long.” She turned to the squirming Boylen. “Crewman Boylen, if you want to get started on those plasma injectors. B’Elanna?”

There was a chorus of. “Aye, Captains.”

Chakotay moved over near the magnetic conduits to keep out of the women’s way. Boylen opened the first injector port and began his degaussing.

Kathryn concentrated on the task at hand, trying, without much success, to ignore Chakotay’s proximity. She could feel his eyes on her and it both thrilled and unnerved her. She and B’Elanna almost had the coil mounted and were attaching the last of the relays when there was a small power surge followed by a telltale hissing sound. Kathryn looked over to where Boylen was working, headfirst inside the injector casing, and could see a small crack in the conduit. It was leaking a small amount of electro-plasma. She jumped towards him. “Boylen, get out of there!”

Chakotay turned and grabbed the young man by the feet, yanking him out of the way, but the degausser ignited the plasma and the blast caught Chakotay front on. He was thrown across the chamber and hit the opposite wall with a sickening crunch. Kathryn screamed. “Chakotay, nooooo!”

His crumpled body lay at the base of the nacelle wall, unmoving.

B’Elanna and Kathryn stared in horror. Boylen blinked and looked frantically at the two women then slapped his combadge. “Boylen to transporter room. Emergency. Beam Commander Chakotay directly to sickbay.” The transporter beam caught the inert form almost immediately, leaving the Captain, B’Elanna and Crewman Boylen standing in shock, staring at the vacant space and bloodstains on the wall.

Kathryn couldn’t breathe. All she could do was stare at the blood.

Crewman Boylen came to her side. “Captain, I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened. There shouldn’t have been any plasma present. The port was closed. I’m so sorry.” The young man was practically in tears.

B’Elanna touched her arm. “Captain?” Kathryn jolted away from B’Elanna but the engineer spoke softly, fighting her own tears. “You should get to sickbay. Boylen, will you escort the Captain, and perhaps you should get checked out as well?”

“Yes, Lieutenant. But I’m fine.” He turned to Kathryn. “Captain?”

Kathryn took a deep breath and gathered herself. “It’s alright, Crewman. I’ll find my own way there. B’Elanna, we should finish connecting the relays.”

Boylen looked at B’Elanna with a worried frown, and stepped towards the Captain, but B’Elanna shook her head very slightly, and the crewman stepped back. B’Elanna stepped in front of Kathryn. “Captain, I can finish this. There isn’t much more to do. I really think you should go to sickbay.” Her voice hitched. “Chakotay may not…”

Kathryn turned on her, with eyes flashing. “I’ll go to sickbay when I’m good and ready, Lieutenant.” She was trembling, but gamely trying to hide her distress. “Boylen, get yourself to sickbay. I’ll follow shortly.” She turned back to the plasma relays and began to work.

B’Elanna shrugged at the worried crewman and jerked her head towards the hatch. He nodded and moved into the Jeffries tube, leaving B’Elanna and the Captain alone.

Kathryn’s hand was shaking almost uncontrollably and she couldn’t hold the hyper spanner steady. She was trying to concentrate, but her vision kept blurring with unshed tears. Furiously she blinked them away. A steady mantra was playing itself in her head. ‘I am the Captain. He is just one of my crew. I am the Captain. I am the Captain.’ The trouble was she didn’t really feel like the captain just at the moment. She felt like a very frightened woman who’d had her heart wrenched from her chest. The man she loved was most likely dead and she didn’t even have the courage to go to sickbay and find out for sure. If she just stayed here, then she wouldn’t have to know and wouldn’t have to deal with the reality.

She’d been here before – in this frightening place of fear and soul tearing anguish. Losing her fiancé and father in a horrific accident that she, still to this day, felt responsible for. How much loss was she expected to bear in this life?

B’Elanna watched her captain in silence. They worked quietly, connecting the relays and bringing the magnetic constrictors on line. They double checked the conduits for fractures and finished cleaning the injectors. Time ticked slowly by and the only sound was the occasional buzz from the spanner and their breathing. The situation was volatile. B’Elanna could feel the tension sizzling in the air. They both jumped when the Doctor’s call came through from sickbay.

“Doctor to Captain Janeway.”

Kathryn was almost tempted to not answer. Her heart stilled in her chest and she forced her hand to tap her combadge. “Janeway here, Doctor.”

“Ah, Captain. You will be pleased to know that the Commander has pulled through with flying colours. It appears he bounces. Anyone else would be dead, but with his hard head and my expertise, he will be fighting fit….”

“Thank you, Doctor. Janeway out.” Kathryn couldn’t bear to listen to anymore. Her whole body was trembling now and the harder she tried to hide her reaction from B’Elanna, the more her body rebelled. A sob tore itself from deep within her and she turned her head away, covering her mouth in the hope that she could stifle any other emotional outbursts.

B’Elanna slumped back against the wall, with tears running down her face. She touched the captain’s arm gently, and Kathryn turned to her. Seeing her engineer’s distress refocused her thoughts. “Oh, B’Elanna, are you alright?”

“I am now. I really thought the big guy had bought it this time.” She gave the Captain a watery smile. “I’d really miss that big lug if anything happened to him.”

Kathryn returned the smile and laid her hand on B’Elanna’s arm. “Yes, I’ve kind of got used to having him around too.”

They sat quietly beside one another for a few minutes as they let their relief settle and their fear wane, then Kathryn eased herself to her feet. “Well, Lieutenant, I can’t sit around here all day. I’ve got a shore leave waiting for me. That’s the last of the repairs done. I think you should take the rest of the day off as well.”

“Aye, Captain. Thank you.”

Picking up their tools and equipment they nodded to one another and left the repaired nacelles.

Kathryn went directly to her quarters and after a quick shower and change, picked up her duffel to make her way to the transporter room. She was almost to the door when a thought struck her. She dropped her pack next to the desk and swung her computer console around. Tapping in a message she hit the send button with a flourish and with a smile and a bounce in her step she walked out into the corridor.

Tom and Harry hadn’t overstated the beauty of the mountains. They were extraordinary. Lush forests gave way to stunning escarpments, with views across to the ocean on one side and fertile plains on the other. Kathryn had set up camp in a level clearing about half way up the nearest peak. A small stream ran down beside the camp site bubbling its way towards the valley, and over the tops of the trees she could see the twin suns setting over the ocean. She took her cup of coffee with her and stood watching the colourful spectacle.

As she stood in the quiet of the pre-dusk she heard a familiar whine and closed her eyes for a moment… waiting. She was not disappointed and felt the welcome heat of his body on her back as he moved behind her. Not touching, but close enough that it made the hairs on her neck stand up and small tremors to trickle through her middle.

She swayed back towards him. “I hoped you would come.”

“I couldn’t stay away. I’d have searched for you, if you hadn’t left me the co-ordinates.”

She smiled but didn’t turn around. “How are you? You gave us … me quite a scare.” She shivered.

He moved a fraction closer and his scent enveloped her. “According to the Doctor, I’m close to indestructible, which is heartening news I suppose.”

“It is for me.” Her voice hitched and he laid a comforting hand on her shoulder. Time seemed to stand still and then she dropped her cup, swung around and threw her arms around him. “I’ve tried so hard to fight this, but I just can’t do it. I love you, Chakotay, and if you ever do anything like that to me again, I’ll kill you.”

He chuckled. “Yes, Ma’am.”

They held each other close, drawing strength and peace from one another. Kathryn lifted her head slowly and kissed him hard. She pulled her mouth away and then turned in his arms, leaning back against him to watch the light as it faded along the horizon.

He was kissing and nuzzling her neck gently. “Kathryn, do we need to talk about this?”

She rested her arms over his where they wrapped around her waist. “We probably should, but could we just stay here like this for a moment?”

She could feel his smile against her neck before he spoke. “We can stay like this forever, if you like.”

She chuckled. “Nice idea, but not terribly practical.” Tipping her head back to give him better access to her neck, she shivered as his lips found that spot just behind her ear. “Hmmmm. That feels wonderful.” They stood like that for several minutes and then Chakotay straightened, and wrapped his arms around her shoulders, holding her tight against him. He dropped a light kiss in her hair and she put her hands on his forearms and wriggled back into his embrace, sighing before she spoke. “I wonder about them.”

“Who?”

“The other Voyagers.” She kissed his arm. “The other Kathryn had been so insistent that I tell you about my feelings before I self destructed the ship. She made me promise.” She took a deep breath. “I wonder if she ever got the chance to tell her Chakotay how she felt.” She rested her head back on his shoulder and looked at his profile as he stared out across the vista. “Do you think he knew? It breaks my heart to think that they might have died without ever knowing.”

He tugged her tighter to him. “I’m sure they did. And if they didn’t find each other in this world, they will find one another in the next. I can’t imagine any existence without you, Kathryn.”

“I hope you’re right. I truly am.” She shivered. The setting suns had taken the warmth of the day with them and the cool of the evening was settling over the mountains. They turned back towards the campsite, and Chakotay lit the fire.

Sitting side by side in front of the warm and comforting flames, with the quiet sounds of the forest around them, they ate a light meal and whispered to one another of their hopes and fears, their love and longing.

After their meal, Kathryn snuggled back into his arms. “Do you think the crew will accept this relationship? I’m concerned that they may see a conflict of interest. I don’t want to be accused of showing favouritism. And don’t imagine that there won’t be issues in regard to maintaining a balance between our personal and professional lives. There will be difficulties.”

He shook his head slightly. “Kathryn, I don’t doubt that there’ll be times when we disagree in both our professional capacity and in our personal life, but you’ve proved beyond a doubt that you don’t play favourites. You have ex-Maquis placed in key positions all over the ship. Your Chief Engineer and First Officer are both wanted criminals. I think that’ll be the least of our problems. And as far as balance is concerned, well, in any relationship whether it’s personal or not, it takes time to find equanimity and stability. I think so far we’ve proven that we work well together and are both fair and just in our dealings with the crew. And just because I sleep in your bed doesn’t mean I’m not going to disagree with you if I think you’re making the wrong decision. I’ll also be there to support you and share your load. I take my job very seriously.”

A thrill ran through her at the thought of him in her bed. “You’re right and that’s very reassuring. But we’ll have to be aware of the pitfalls and be constantly vigilant. I know we can do it. Together we can do anything, and I’m sure the crew will be accepting, if we maintain our professionalism.”

“Absolutely. Although poor Crewman Boylen may be a different story.”

“Crewman Boylen?”

“Hmmm. I think you’re going to break his heart.”

She looked at him with a frown and then the light dawned. “Oh. I was wondering what that was all about this morning.” She laughed quietly. “I’m sure he’ll survive. In fact, I know he will. If the scuttlebutt is to be believed, young Stella Foster in deflector maintenance has her eye on him. I don’t think he’ll be heartbroken for long.” She smiled. “He’s no threat.”

“Funny, that was exactly what B’Elanna said.”

Kathryn tilted her head right back to look at him. “B’Elanna knows about this?”

He gave her a sheepish grin. “It seems everyone knows about it. Well, about my feelings for you anyway. Apparently, I’m not only indestructible, I’m also an open book. Which reminds me, I have to have a word with Paris tomorrow.”

She looked at him questioningly. He smiled. “You don’t want to know.”

She shrugged. “If it’s about the ‘book’ he keeps on how many times I touch you each shift, I’ve known about that for ages. How do you think I maintain my toxic level of coffee intake? When I’m running low, I bet rations, and then touch you that many times in a shift. Easy pickings.”

“Kathryn Janeway! I’m shocked.” He laughed out loud. “But not surprised.”

“It’s the perfect scam. He can’t complain. I mean… who’s he going to complain to? I let him win just enough to keep him happy, I’ve got enough coffee rations to last me each month and the crew have a slightly illicit pastime to keep them amused. It’s a win-win situation, except for Paris most of the time, and that only seems fair.”

He laughed loudly and hugged her close. “You never cease to amaze me. I love you.”

Her hand slid up to the side of his face. “I love you too.” She kissed him sweetly and then shuffled up on to his lap, wrapping her arms around him. She kissed him again, this time deeply, with her tongue darting along his lips and snaking into his mouth to delve and taste. They were breathing heavily and she could feel his arousal, hot and hard against her thigh. Her insides throbbed with want. Resting her cheek against his, she whispered in his ear. “About this sleeping in my bed business. I don’t want to make a liar out of you. Are you ready for this new adventure, my love?”

He pulled his head back and held her face between his hands. His thumb stroked gently along her cheekbone and brow and then swiped sensuously over her mouth as he studied her beautiful face. “Lead the way, my captain, my love.”

Hand in hand they moved to her tent and climbed through the entrance together. They made passionate love throughout the night, and weary and sated, they fell into a blissful sleep in the early hours of the planet’s morning.

She woke late, alone and warm. The heat of the twin suns was beating down on the outside of her tent. She sat up and looked around. Her clothes lay beside her, neatly folded. Smiling, she slid naked from the bed and donned her clothes. She could hear him outside and could smell the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee. She ran a brush through her hair, pulling it back into a pony tail and stepped out of the tent. He was squatting by the fire stirring something in a large pot and smiled at her as she made her way to his side. “Good morning, Kathryn. Sleep well?”

She ran her hand over his shoulder and looked out over the distant ocean. “Yes. The best sleep I’ve had in months. You?”

“Like a baby. Here.” He handed her a steaming cup of coffee. “It’s fresh. Breakfast will be ready soon.”

She sat down beside him and kissed his cheek. “Thank you.” Sipping her coffee she watched as he sprinkled something from one of the containers at his side over the contents of the pot.

“What are you making?”

“It’s a savoury cereal my mother used to make with cornmeal and vegetables.” He sat back beside her and draped his arm over her shoulder hugging her to his side and kissing the side of her head. “I’ve contacted Tuvok. Everything is in order on the ship. The last of the repair crews are finishing up and Engineering is all in order. B’Elanna is ready to bring the warp core back on line as soon as you give the word, but I told her to take the day off and that we’d make preparations for leaving the planet tomorrow. Some of the Geology crew and Engineering staff were due a day off. They’ve worked so hard, I didn’t think an extra day would be a problem.”

She nodded and rested her head against his shoulder. “Good idea. There’s no hurry and that gives us another day as well. What did you want to do today?”

“This isn’t such a bad way to pass the time.” He kissed her forehead again and she could feel him smile against her.

She chuckled and gave him a gentle shove. “Tom and Harry mentioned some hot springs a little further up the mountainside. I wouldn’t mind having a look at them. We can do this.” She snuggled into his side. “But naked and in warm water… Are you ready for a hike?”

He chuckled. “Hike? Is that what we’re calling it these days?” She swatted his arm, and he kissed her quickly. “With an offer like that, I’m ready for anything.”

Her eyes twinkled. “I’m glad to hear it. Mmmmm, that smells good. Is it ready yet?”

He pulled his arm from around her shoulders and peered into the pot. “It looks like it. Pass me the bowls please. They’re just there beside you.”

She handed them to him and he ladled a generous helping into each, and passed her one. They sat and ate in silence. Just being in each others company was enough for the moment.

After breakfast they readied themselves and set off up the mountain. The vegetation became sparser the higher they hiked. Tall trees gave way to smaller shrubs and undergrowth and by the time they reached the steaming springs, there was only the occasional gnarly bush or wiry grass jutting up from between the smooth rocks. There were several pools, but only one was big enough for the two of them. They dropped their packs and stood looking out over the plains. They could see Voyager from here, standing majestically just to the north. Kathryn had loved her time here on the mountain with Chakotay, but she had to admit she was eager to be back in space. It didn’t seem like such a lonely place anymore now that Chakotay was truly by her side. Together they would protect and carry their crew home.

She turned in his arms and held him close. His hands wandered over her back as she kissed and nuzzled his neck. They slowly divested each other of their clothing and walked naked to the pool, slipping with a sigh into the warm water. They sat beside one another for a time, lightly feathering their hands over each others bodies, slowly allowing their arousal to build and build until Kathryn swung herself around and straddled Chakotay’s lap. He watched her with loving eyes as she studied his face. The fingertips of one hand traced the lines of his tattoo as her other hand stroked through his soft hair. She ran her finger down the length of his nose and then traced over the outline of his lips. Leaning forward she kissed him, her tongue darting out to taste, and she whispered against his mouth. “You know, I’ve wanted to know what it felt like to kiss these lips ever since you stood in front of me that first day on the bridge. You were so angry, but I could feel the heat and energy from your body and your mouth was right in front of me. These lips have fascinated me ever since.” Her eyes flicked up to his and she gasped at the look of raw desire that spilled from their ebony depths.

He’d been still while she took her inventory, but now his hands played along her thighs and stroked over her buttocks, edging closer and closer to her cleft. She wriggled closer to him and could feel his erection prod her belly. He ducked his head and took her nipple in his mouth, teasing it with his tongue until it pebbled, stiff and tender. He nipped and laved at it while he palmed her other breast and rolled the nipple between his thumb and forefinger. Just when she thought she could stand it no longer, he swapped sides and suckled on her other breast. The feelings he was evoking were exquisite.

She was rocking against him and his hard length rubbed agonisingly against her clitoris. The warmth of the water further sensitised her already heated flesh and she threw her head back as the sensations began to take over. Her hand delved into the water and fondled his shaft, massaging the sensitive tip. He lifted her from the water suddenly, and set her on the side of the spring. She leaned back with her legs spread as he dove between them, lapping at her centre. Each long firm stroke of his tongue ran the length of her folds and then drilled into her clitoris making her thrust against his mouth. His hands were on her breasts and her arms flailed at her sides as she tried to find purchase on the smooth rocks. She was losing control. The cool mountain air contrasted with the heat of his mouth, and within seconds she arched, grabbing his forearms and crying out as her orgasm took her.

He gave her no respite as his tongue toyed with her swollen nub and she rose quickly towards another peak. Just before she tipped over the edge, he stood and plunged into her sodden depths. She called out again, juddering and straining against him. He slammed into her once, twice and then with a groan, emptied himself into her. He pulled her body against his and slid down into the warmth of the spring. It was like sinking under a warm blanket. Holding her tight he soothed her as she came down from her climax.

They were still joined and she tightened her inner muscles around him, making him whimper. Rocking gently against him as they stared into each others eyes, her hands wandered over the smooth planes of his chest and the firm muscles of his arms and shoulders. She leant forward and kissed his neck, licking up his jaw line to his ear. She nipped at his ear lobe and sucked at the sensitive skin below. She could feel him hardening and lengthening within her, and the sensation only heightened her arousal. They were barely moving, just grinding against each other as she rhythmically clenched her inner muscles and he kneaded her buttocks. She felt him tighten his grip and lengthen even more just before he groaned and stiffened against her. His hand moved to where they were joined and pinched her nub, sending her into oblivion after him. She slumped against his chest, boneless and sated.

They were so good together. Their bodies seemed to know instinctively what to do and where to touch. Over these last two days she had experienced the most intense lovemaking, and it thrilled her to think that she had a lifetime of this ahead of her. She would never tire of him. He owned her heart and their souls resided as one. She let her eyes close as she thought of him, and in the warmth of the water and his love, she drifted peacefully to sleep in his arms.

He stroked her lovingly as she slumbered in his arms, trusting and secure. And as a gentle smile graced her features, he breathed a deep sigh of satisfaction and smiled to himself. He was a happy man.

They sat in their command chairs on the bridge at 08:00 the following morning. “Mr Paris, are we ready.”

“Yes, Captain. We’re all set.”

She stood up and moved to the centre of the command deck. “Mr Tuvok. Condition Blue. Ms Torres, antigrav thrusters online.”

B’Elanna smiled at her Captain. “Thrusters enabled.”

Kathryn gave her a half wink. “Mr Paris, inertial dampers to flight configuration, Impulse Drive to standby.”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

Harry looked up from Ops. “All stations report ready, Captain.”

Chakotay came and stood behind her, slightly to her left. She could feel the heat of his body and it sent a warm thrum of contentment through her. She turned to him and smiled. “Well, let’s do it.” She lightly touched Chakotay’s hand as she turned and took her seat. He sat beside her and smiled.

“Take us up, Tom.”

“Aye, Captain.”

They felt the vibration of the engines as the massive ship lifted away from the planet. Kathryn watched the forward viewscreen with a quiet pang of regret as the mountains moved out of view. She settled back into her seat, and looked around the bridge at her family, and a feeling of utter serenity settled over her soul. She took a deep breath and relaxed, and glancing to her left saw a matching look of peace on her lover’s face. All was right with their world.

Voyager rose majestically into the black velvet of space where she belonged. “Tom, once we’ve cleared the system, ahead at warp six and… set a course for home.”

“Yes, Ma’am”

She could feel the hollow thud as the nacelles folded into place and the comforting pressure as they jumped to warp.

As the stars slid past, they sped forward into their future.

- _End_ -


End file.
